
Breathe with Me
Hand on heart—give yourself comfort, peace, and reassurance.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out whatever needs to be released.
What is Grief?
Grief is the emotional and physical response to the loss of something—not just someone.
While many associate grief with the loss of a loved one, it can also stem from losing:
- A job
- A pet
- A relationship
- A home
- A personal expectation (realistic or not)
Loss is loss.
For example, losing a car—whether due to an accident or repair—also means losing the freedom to move about. Losing a relationship, whether through death or separation, means losing not only the person but also the future you once envisioned with them.
In cases of lost relationships, such as those broken by betrayal, not all are restored—even when forgiveness is granted.
I’ve personally experienced this. Last year, at THIS event, I shared how my father walked out of my life. Despite my efforts to reconnect, he has not returned.
- Do I miss him? Yes.
- Does it hurt? Yes.
- Do I have to accept the loss for what it is? Yes.
Radical acceptance teaches that we don’t have to like or hate the loss—we simply must accept it.
The Physical Impact of Grief
Grief doesn’t just affect emotions—it impacts the body, particularly the lungs.
- Grief can affect your lungs function and cause sharp chest pain and trouble breathing1.
- Breath is vital to oxygenating your system, and removing toxins is also a responsibility of the lungs, so immune function may be impacted by grief2.
- Unresolved grief can cause long-term contraction of the lungs and affect the dispersing of nutrients and Qi/life energy through the body3.
- Excessive grieving can lead to disorders of both the lungs and the large intestine4.
- The relationship between grief and the immune system may explain bereavement’s association with increased risk for disease and early mortality5
How to Navigate Grief
There is No “Right” Way to Grieve
But here’s what can help:
- Feel what you feel, when you feel it.
- Suppressing grief can be like forcing a beach ball underwater—it will eventually surface with force.
- I learned this firsthand when my dad died over 24 years ago. I rushed back to work, only to find myself repeatedly running to the bathroom to cry.
- Seek professional support.
- Grief includes stages like depression and anger—having a therapist can help navigate these emotions.
- I even advise clients not to go through their loved one’s belongings alone. Having support is invaluable.
- Believe that healing is possible.
- “Grow through what you go through.”
- Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to carry grief differently.
- Prepare for anniversaries and triggers.
- Birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries can be difficult.
- Instead of staying home alone, consider traveling, going out, or creating a new tradition to honor the loss.
Steps to Cope with Grief and Loss
- Lower your expectations.
- Healing is not linear.
- Give yourself time—possibly a lifetime.
- Even years later, memories and emotions can hit unexpectedly.
- Lean on others.
- Healing in silence can be isolating.
- Commit to therapy.
- Therapy helps facilitate healing, though it doesn’t “speed it up.”
- Offer yourself grace.
- Healing has no “graduation”—it is ongoing.
- Be mindful of the funerals you attend.
- Protect your emotional space.
Faith and Healing Through Grief
Bible Verses for Comfort
Job 17:1 – “My spirit is broken, my days are extinguished, the grave is ready for me.”
Job 17:7 – “My eye has also grown dim because of sorrow, and all my members are like shadows.”
→ This is what grief often feels like.
John 16:20 – “You will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.”
→ Jesus spoke this to His disciples about His upcoming death.
John 16:33 – “In the world, you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
→ Staying grounded in faith brings peace in difficult times.
John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”